Well Here It Is....

i am here....the place called the backyard of success, the country which has it all, but still i miss the small country where my roots belong...
i miss my people, my friends, my family, and i miss them all....
let me break up my week's schedule for you, and you'll understand the reason why i said the aforesaid statement,

Monday to Friday : Rush to office at 7:30AM, Finish my whole work and return to home at 6:00PM. Once you return back you notice that the dishes are not done, and there is nothing in the refrigerator for you to eat. So you do the dishes, then cook some food for you....and by the time you are done...it is already 10:30PM and you suddenly feel the need to have a good sleep. Next morning the whole process continues....

Weekends...
Once you return from office on Friday evening, you notice that the though dishes are still not done, and you still need to cook to fill your own stomach.....still you are a bit relaxed. Living in downtown, the most happening place of the town...and you just take a walk down the street, and you forget all your worries. You return late and sleep like you have never slept before.

On Saturday, you wake up late, do your weekly laundry and then prepare lunch. By the time you are done with that all, you start feeling the void which was present from day 1 but hidden under the covers of being busy. It starts poking you, and before you even know it, it starts killing you. And you cannot do anything about it other than face it...

So to sum it up, though you have everything with you, you still have nothing,
though you have everyone on your side, still you fight alone...
and though you have a million acquaintances, YOU STILL WALK ALONE!!!

Sometimes I just want to say that’s IT!!!

Many ways to choose from, many possible outcomes,

Thinking of a way which would eradicate this confusion

All people pouring in with their own suggestions,

Not helping solving me the problem, but giving it an addendum

More and more I think over it, more increases the amplitude,

All I need now is something to do away with my solitude

Yes I stand single on this big blue planet,

Sometimes I just want to say that’s IT!!!

Taking it away from me it what everyone has done,

They say it is for my good, but is surely out of my comprehension

Understating the realms of it is taking its toll,

End is not that far off, I am getting old…

Before the sun sets on my little world’s own horizon,

I wish they could be more ways out of this rather than none

I wish I could tell you more of this problem but,

Sometimes I just want to say that’s IT!!!

The war is mine!!!

Trying to figure a way out of this abyss
It seems that everything is now turning into a mess…
Times were tougher before
This time I can’t face it any more….
Looking at the sun shine every morning
Just can’t help my self thinking
How to end this bloody bore….
Because not now it suffocates, hurts even more…
Losing each breathe every moment,
Becoming weaker every second
Having the odds against me one more time
I love to race against them even when everybody is against me, even mine
Lemme put the pen down now and pick up the sword,
The battle might not be mine, but sure is the war!!!

NOT YET

I Am Confident, yet underrated
looks like one but I am serrated
yes i am down and a bit annoyed
am feeling helpless, as if I am denied
I am angry, on what I don't know,
but when I am happy, everything else is no show
looking outside the window
on this noraml looking day
i know there are better things to do
while i stay.....
people do decide and then regret,
while i would just say,
not yet, not yet....

What I Am Made For?

To solve all you problems is what I am made for,
To give funda of chill and relax is what I am made for,
To ask you to enjoy life like anything is what I am made for,
To wipe the tears from your eyes is what I am made for,
To not follow anything what I say to you myself, is what I am made for...

Janamdin Ki Haardik Badhaiya

Birthdays!!!

Everyone is excited about the the anniversary of the day they were born. Remembering the day when you were incarnated/reincarnated (whatever...) people really feel happy as if the world was complete when they arrived. It is otherwise....

Celebrating birtdays should be banned, because:

* You have to give a lavish treat to your friends

* People would not miss even a single chance to give you the so called b'day bumps, as if you were born for those only :)

* Everyday people will pull your leg in way or the other, the best one being, "Aaj to b'day hai...."

But after so much love (?) shown by your friends towards you, you might not be able to sit properly the whole day, you might use every edible thing as a face wash, or shampoo (see the pic), but still you would feel happy, and this feeling comes from seeing so many people around you, the feeling of having friends.....

Happy Birthday!!!!

Kaha hu kahaa nahi....

Today was the first day I spent in office after two of the closest friends left for on site.
Though I am really happy about their chance to harass people of other nationality ;-), but getting used to a silent workplace would surely take time.
I myself didn't believed till I observed my watch and the list of task I have on my hand. During the whole day, the list was getting smaller and smaller, and the time was going on at its own speed. Nearly 10 hrs after I started my days' work, I actually asked myself, have I started working??? Would I continue to do so till my frens come back??? Time will tell.....
But aaj mazaa bhi aaya, puraane dosto se bichda to tha, but pahucha apne logo ke hi beech. :-)

How I'm spending my precious time.....

8:00AM Wakeup after a nice little fight with your alarm clock

9:00AM Get ready for the office

10:00AM Near office at a small but a favorite shop of mine ;-)

10:10AM The smily time is the last time for all the fun in the first half of my day, office works starts

10:15AM Be at SK or AG's desk and pakaofy them(still wondering about how these two tolerate me)

10:30 AM finally start with the work
10:45AM break for tea :)

12:30PM again at AG's desk to peep into what is she doing, SK shoves me away as if i am a stray dog :(

1:30PM break for lunch, actually i don't eat much but its my favorite pasttime as i bakar a lot during it

2:30PM lunch over, get back to work, only after a couple of games in TT

3:15PM coffee break

then work
4:00PM coffee break

then work/meeting

6:00PM go to cafe for some snacks (the way the cafe-wala prepares it, it shud be called snakes)

work a bit....

7:30PM Lawn or table tennis..which ever is having capacity to accomodate me

8:30PM call onsite.....usually about work, nowadays bakar has also crept into it

9:00PM home sweet home

10:00PM my little big tv :) still wondering on Ashish's question on how we are able to watch 90 channels in 30 minutes, still fighting hard for the answer

01:00AM try to sleep
02:00AM try to sleep.........

and so it goes......

PS THIS POST IS DEEPLY INSPIRED BY MY MENTOR :)

The Probability called Life

It was one long day before I went to sleep. Just before going to bed I started thinking the chances of me getting up early next morning. That was it, it struck me then and there itself that the chances of me doing anything, and if doing it then the chances of me getting the results at the end of it is not only based on what I am planning to do, or am doing, but also on the probability of life.

The principle of probability of life is simple and straight. When ever we are doing anything, or how we try to act about it, we are doing nothing but just playing with the probability. In simple and shorter terms, life is nothing but a probability. If we look around, everything sensed is having equal probability of not having there.

For a small boy, this probability lies in whether he would learn to talk, walk, and learn like a normal person or not. This should be noted that we define what is normal, thus the chances of it being the real normal also vary based on the situation. Everything we do is a probability we are playing with. Whether it is a student giving an examination, or a man going and asking a woman out, or for that case vice versa, we all play with it.

It is not that by saying it is a probability; we can run away from the consequences of what we do. What I mean is, though the chances play a good role, it is not the only part of the game called life. The best part of it is, though it for sure that we have to play this game by the probability, we are also given the freedom to define our own set of rules for it. What is good for you is not necessarily good for others, but since everyone is given this authority to decide his/her own standards, everyone has his/her own probability of getting things done at the end.

I just happen to run into a case where two individuals, very good friends of each other, suddenly face a situation in their lives. Both had plain and simple principles, but the thin line defining what is normal and accepted and what is not, didn’t match for these two individuals as it was at different locations. Being good friends to both of them, but having my allegiances well defined, the whole situation put me in a spot of bother as I knew as both of them played with their own probability, the chances of level of acceptance can not necessarily be the same. I am really not sure what would be outcome of this whole episode is going to be; it has really strengthened my adherence in this principle.

Well trying to figure out what is right and what is not; what is real and what is not; but by trying to figure out a method to get lives of me and friends back on track, I am back in the game with my own rules, and I’ll make sure that though the probability of me getting a great result for the group might be difficult, but is not that far off.